Category Archives: Family Life

A Truly Scrumptious Give-away!

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Ah, what a relief and delight for the soul in a busy season of packing and showing a house to come home to a wonderful box in the mail.  Yes, that’s right!  A gluten-free delicious sampler pack of yummy goodness from Mama Mead & Co herself (www.mamamead’s.wordpress.com).  Joy in a box!

The sampler traveled perfectly (and those of you who have had a hand at gluten-free baking may have results that are sometimes crumbly.  This traveled across the country – the Northwest to the Deep South – and all the treats were still lovely!).

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The sampler had many different goodies inside, which I gladly shared with our children and my best friend and her children: Continue reading →

Are You Drowning In Stuff? A Challenge!

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This article is a fascinating look at Americans and their things: http://realestate.msn.com/blogs/listedblogpost.aspx?post=e0026a0a-03df-4f70-b1e5-6eaaeec9ec86.   This article is an anthropologist’s look at “stuff”.  In particular was mentioned the accumulation of things that comes with adding more children.  One thing that was amazing to me was one particular child’s room contained 248 dolls!

I actually don’t know anyone in real life that has “stuff” to this amount of excess, to be honest, although I am sure it exists.  It is a sad commentary on American society if this is a normal state of affairs for much of the population. As we become more overweight, more depressed, more anxious – here we are, taking our homes that we are so fortunate to have in comparison to the rest of the world and stuffing them to the brim!

I love the summertime for doing major, deep, significant de-cluttering.  So, I have a challenge for you this week:  set aside a two-week period this summer, and every morning, work on getting rid of your stuff.  No, don’t just organize it! Get rid of it! Continue reading →

Minimalism

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My house is officially on the market.  It is bittersweet to me.  We have lived in this home for fourteen years, and I adore my neighbors.  I know them so very well.  I know every nook and cranny of the once farmland that is now our little subdivision:  the tadpoles in the creek by my neighbor’s house (and how she so kindly lets us tramp through her yard to get to the creek!), the long Deep South days at the pool, the way we can see the Fourth of July fireworks from the pool, the hill we can sled on in the winter in the few years we actually do receive snow.  A true sense of place, which seems to be rare in this day and age. Continue reading →

Gathering Grace

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In the midst of planning, many mothers can caught up with looking at every program out there, and then extend into looking at  almost every homeschool philosophy out there. Have you ever felt like that?

It can be the same way with parenting:  such division and derision: the “mommy wars”, the strife over feeding methods, discipline methods, so many  decisions to make, so many times of wondering.  “Am I doing the right thing?  Am I going down the right path?”

Being a mother, being a parent, can be so hard.

There is a lot of talk in homeschooling circles about the formative years of birth through seven being about training the will or creating good habits.  Yet, this passage speaks of the balance to me:

In the spiritual education of children, our first concern is not to train their wills, but to attract grace – by our life and prayer – to their environment, and to let each child’s heart become attached to grace. Theological discussion with children is a very small proportion of Christian education. Prayer that God will touch them with grace is a permanent dimension of all our dealings with children, even when they are not with us.

Protopresbyter George Metallinos, recalling the holy Elder Porphyrios: ‘He told me that I must deal with one of my children by praying a lot more. He specifically said to me about that child, “Whatever you would say to that child […], say it to God. Kneel before God and through the grace of God, your words will be conveyed to your child.” About my other child, he said to me: “[…] He listens, but he easily forgets. Therefore, again you will kneel and you will ask for God’s grace, so that your fatherly words will fall upon good soil and will be able to bear fruit.”**

*Fr. Theokletos Dionysiatis, “Between Heaven and Earth [in Greek], (Athens, 1955), p. 130.

 

So, if the Early Years has another dimension outside of training wills, forming habits for the body and within the home, I believe it resides in gathering grace for our children.

We can do this through having a strong prayer life.  There are so many things where we will not know we are “doing the right thing” until our child is an adult.  Prayer is a lifeline.

We can get lost amidst the myriad of decisions, and  we can pray that we do not lose sight of the big picture of things we want to impart to our children before they are out on their own.  We can pray for that, and we can pray to have grace when we and our children make mistakes.

The base of all of this is to have peace in our hearts, and to show this to our children in an outward way that they can see through our actions. May they see us praying, reading and studying the Bible, participating in the life of the Church Year.

May we also gather grace by having meekness and quietness in how we speak to others; we must show them love and kindness.  This is the outward manifestation of peace in our hearts.

May we gather grace by living joyfully  in simplicity and in a strong rhythm.

Let us never forget that humility, meekness, serving others, joy and peacefulness are what lies underneath all the parenting and homeschooling decisions.

Many blessings as you decide things today,

Carrie

What’s On My Heart–Links to Read and Love

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Planning is still on my mind.  I have enjoyed looking through these samples of main lesson book pages from every grade here:  http://www.waldorftoday.com/gallery/Main+Lesson+Book+Pages/

I have also enjoyed following along with how Sheila and Rachel are doing their planning here:  http://sureastheworld.com/2012/06/18/planning-611-617/  (this is one in a series) and Rachel’s here:  http://justtosay.typepad.com/just-to-say/2012/06/planning.html

I am using this link from The Department of Religious Education from The Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America to help plan our religious education for the year:  http://www.goarch.org/archdiocese/departments/religioused/resources/

More on planning to come!

I have also been thinking of my reader Jane, who has started a website to encourage single ladies to wait patiently for the right man;  a man who will love and respect them and help create a positive family culture as they marry and raise children.  She asked me if any of my readers who are happily married would be willing to share their inspiring story of finding each other or other encouragement for her single ladies.  Here is the link: http://www.gettingtotruelove.com/tell-your-inspirational-love-story/.  Thank you, Jane.

For my families who have children affected by sensory processing challenges:  http://www.sensorysmarts.com/july_tips.html provides some great tips specific to summer and sensory challenges.

As always, I continue to find so many of my readers’ blogs inspiring, like this post by Kara: http://www.rockingranola.com/2012/06/slow-learner_14.html and this post by Annette (so happy she is blogging again and taking readers on a journey through the day in a series of posts!  Do check it out!):  http://ourseasonsofjoy.com/rhythms-and-routines/good-morning-dear-earth/  If you are sharing something wonderful on your blog and you would like my readers to know about it, please do go ahead and link below.

Many blessings,

Carrie

The Older Baby Who Can’t Be Put Down

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I had a really sweet first time mother write in and ask me about her older baby who wants to be held all the time.  Do you all remember that stage with your very first child?  When there were no other children around?

 

Her question involved another aspect as well:  that of parenting alone for long hours on end and how to get that break when, as the parent, we are just about to lose it.  I think many of us have been there, and I wanted to provide some encouragement.  Perhaps you all have your own experiences to add in, if you can remember that far back to your first child and that sort of mobile and needy one year old stage.

 

Dear Sweet Mama,

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I think it is really common for an infant of birth through even three year of age to want to be held frequently. In some cultures, infants don’t even touch the ground until the baby turns one year old.  In our society,  many parents use slings, particularly putting your older infant on your back, as a solution to this dilemma. I am a huge fan of slings, particularly wearing an infant or toddler on my back so I can go about my own work – which is work around my home or garden.  Some families are really lucky and have a lot of other adult family members around.  But in American society, most of us are not that lucky.  Often we are the only ones home alone with an infant for long stretches of time.

 

So, this leads to another point….

 

Attached infants can also learn to be happy and not be held 24/7,if you work in short spurts and think ahead about the environment you are setting up for this.  For an older infant or child who is used to being held a lot,  it takes time to know that this is a rhythm, a pattern and an okay place to be.   Sometimes tying it to some particular task you are doing can be successful for the little one who is truly not used to it.  So, maybe you would like to start with putting your infant down whilst you unload your dishwasher. Take the silverware out in case your older baby can pull up and get into the sharp silverware and set them down on a blanket whilst you are unloading the dishwasher.  Sing to them heartily!  Smile at them!  Think about distraction and including them whilst they are down there. Or, set them up to play with a small tray of water on a sheet or in the sink whilst you unload the dishwasher or in the sink.  You have to think of distraction,  and also be cheery and confident they can survive without being held for ten minutes so long as they are safe.

 

You can also get down and play with your child on the floor, but I think what most parents are striving for is to have their hands free for a few moments and have their baby not be wailing. 

 

As far as what to do when you are ready to lose it….We all have moments like this in parenting, especially I think with the first child.  If your infant is in a safe place where they cannot hurt themselves, you can set your baby down. Your baby will cry, you may cry too, but again, if your baby is safe and you are nearby,  they are not going to die by crying. Sometimes too,  just changing the scenery by going outside together, setting your baby down in the grass, or taking a walk together, can also diffuse the moment.

 

The bigger issue is to think about prevention, and also to have that plan for what you are going to do when those inevitable moments happen.  Think about and plan within your family’s schedule what breaks you need throughout the week, make sure you are eating and sleeping well (nap when your baby naps! for the whole first year or even the whole first two years if you can get it!) think about who you can call to talk you off the ledge at that moment, keep reminding yourself what is normal for that age so you are not expecting too much, love your child, get outside, form a community, pray and develop yourself through your own inner work (religion, spirituality, whatever you call it and whatever it is to you) and enjoy your baby.  We were not meant to take care of a baby all  alone for hours on end – I don’t believe. Community is so important!

Again, make sure you have someone you can call in the moment – a friend, a family member – who could come if you called or you could at least call any day or night. And communicate with your spouse – parenting is hard work, and it is important you have at least some time to yourself each week  for a few hours, if not a period of time each day. Parenting with a partner should be just that, working to create a family culture together.

 

Many blessings,
Carrie

Rhythm: Part Seven

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In Part Five of this series on rhythm, we looked at the number one challenge toward establishing rhythm:  going out too much and saying “yes” to too many things outside the home.  Today, I want to tell you THE SECRET about having a successful rhythm.

 

It is getting out of your own way.

 

Release your anxiety and your fears.  Parent after parent after parent that I talk to who have homeschooled children who have graduated from homeschool say their children were well-prepared for college and for life, no matter what method the parent chose to homeschool!  Amazing and true! I see so many mothers who are worried, anxious and joyless in their parenting and homeschooling, and this is what the children see!  Don’t be wishy -washy and uncertain; fearful and scared!

 

Take the bull by the horns! Be confident!  Get your ho-hum on, and jump in where you are!  If you “fall off the routine bandwagon” jump back on where you are that moment.  It takes time to get a rhythm that works.  Commit to it as a forty day project. 

 

Your parenting may not be perfect!  Your homeschooling may not be perfect!  Mine isn’t; I make so many mistakes and things could always be done differently – but you know what?  I have an overall sense that my children are going to be JUST FINE. 

 

And in my weak moments, where I feel like something is not going to turn out well, or I start coming from a place of fear, I get down on my knees and pray.  And after I do that, I call a friend when my children are not around to overhear, and get a well –deserved pep talk.  I talk to my supportive spouse and surround myself with positive thinkers.

 

But most of all, become a positive thinker yourself.   Your children need to see that mistakes do not define who you are; they are only gateways and doorways to improvement and understanding. 

 

There are no guarantees in parenting or homeschooling; you do what you can do. Have some fun and act confident.  Make decisions, stick to them, change what is not working, quit talking so much and DO.

 

Many blessings on your journey toward rhythm as a basis of joy in your home,

Carrie

Rhythm: Part Six

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The biggest and often most problematic part in attachment parenting and in homeschooling is lack of time for oneself separate from the children. Despite the number of attachment parenting oriented blogs and homeschooling blogs that never seem to talk about “time alone”, I still think this need does exist, but no one seems to want to mention it.  Would we be badly attached mothers to admit that there are some things easier to do alone? Continue reading →

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work: Chapter Four

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This chapter is entitled, “Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration”.  Dr. Gottman talks about how for many couples who are in trouble and on the brink of divorce, that their marriage may be able to be revitalized and saved if the couple has a “fondness and admiration system”.

“….the best test of whether a couple still has a functioning and admiration system is usually how they view their past. If your marriage is now in deep trouble, you’re not likely to elicit much praise on each other’s behalf by asking about the current state of affairs.  But by focusing on your past, you can often detect embers of positive feelings.”

Dr. Gottman also talks about how a fundamentally positive view of your spouse and your marriage is a big buffer when troubled times hit.  He brings up some other good points: Continue reading →