This question came in awhile ago and I have been pondering it since in the back of my mind. I was not certain I had anything valuable to add; some things ”just are”
in life, but then I did think of something I wanted to say (uh, and it turned out to be way more than I expected, so you may need a cup of tea! LOL) Here is the original comment/question:
Here is a very honest admission for you: I get no satisfaction of out homekeeping and I am quite certain that I never will I *can* do all the things: cook delicious meals every day, ferment, and mill my own flour, I can sew and knit and paint, I can keep the home clean and in reasonable order. But when that is all I do, I can feel my soul slowly dying! I go through seasons of pulling myself together and even enjoying my tasks, and then falling apart, throwing in a towel, because after all, what’s the point? Yes, this is a lovely way to live, to have a cozy home and good food, but I.am.miserable. I’ve been told all manner of things: I’m lazy, I need to change my attitude, I need to get therapy to deal with some deep-seated resentment and blah-blah-blah. I feel that the truth is simpler than that. I am someone who is extremely extroverted, requires massive amounts of regular intellectual stimulation, and a great deal of variety in life There must be a way to find some kind of balance. I realize that my children are young (2, 4.5, and one on the way), I am quite realistic about the care, time and effort they require at this stage of life. But I just can’t give up my sanity and my very essence to keeping the home.
That is really hard and I think so many of us as mothers can identify with the feelings expressed in this comment. It can be so hard to do all the things we might think need to be associated with homemaking and parenting, to make things “right”. Maybe there is also a bit of perfectionism hidden within many of us – if we don’t do all these things, then our children will not do well. This can make things seem burdensome or a chore instead of light and lovely. And, it all can be such a big burden – why do I have to be The Queen of My Home? Can’t someone else do it? I just want to take the day off! There are days I feel that way as well. Continue reading
Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin
As self-neglecting. –From William Shakespeare’s Henry V
I am so pleased that Kyrie is doing a series on “The Ordinary Arts” that make up the fabric of our lives. Her first post is up here http://www.aresohappy.com/home/2011/10/17/ordinary-arts-the-art-of-self-care.html, and she has invited us to write our own thoughts on this important topic.
To me, the Ordinary Arts is finding the holy in the ordinary. The beautiful in the mundane. The “big” in those really small moments of life.
On Easter Monday of this year, I wrote a post about “The Sacred In The Ordinary” (http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/04/25/the-sacred-in-the-ordinary/). This is an important topic – in the repetitive tasks that make up the care of small children, in the repetitive tasks of what really constitutes homemaking and nurturing the home, can we turn this into a sacred act, a gift to receive and to be given? Continue reading
I am back doing less work and projects right now, and more reading. I recently finished “Making God Real in the Orthodox Christian Home” by Fr. Anthony Coniaris, which was lent to me by a dear local friend. Thank you, dear friend.
There is something so peaceful and soothing about this book. When I get bogged down in “what is this all about – parenting, homeschooling, juggling all these balls in the air” – this book reminds me: “the primary lesson for children is to know the eternal God, the One Who gives everlasting life” (St. Clement). A balm for the mothering soul, and such a great simplifying thought. Continue reading
One of my dear local friends just sent me the most beautiful prayer from the book “Making God Real In The Orthodox Home” by Fr. Anthony Coniaris (here is the Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0937032077/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?ie=UTF8&m=A6MHEJ10672MS) . Here is the beautiful prayer she shared with me:
Our small steps for a happy homelife continues today with menu planning. Menu planning is important for those of us on a budget, and it is also important in terms of saving time, energy and for providing healthy foods in as close to their natural state as possible.
So, after our other small steps of decreasing commitments so you can actually be at home, spending time with your spouse or rejuvenating yourself, and having a well-ordered home, menu planning is right up there.
After all, nothing goes well if everyone is hungry and there is no food in the house or no food prepared, right? Small children and hunger leads to whiny, not peaceful, times!
We have talked about meal planning before on this blog, but I have a few things that have been working well for me lately that I want to share: Continue reading
One thing that provides a foundation for family and homeschooling success after reviewing and possibly curtailing commitments outside the home (Step #1) and building a strong foundation for time with your spouse or to rejuvenate yourself if you are single parenting (Step #2), is to have a well-ordered home.
My favorite small book on this subject is by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, a health psychologist and researcher in the area of lactation and post-partum depression. Continue reading
“We have to remember that there is nothing more “enriching” for a young child than exploring his own world of home, filled with natural playthings and the work of caring for a family – housework, laundry, cooking – and exploring his own backyard.” – From Sharifa Oppenheimer’s “Heaven On Earth: A Handbook for Parents of Young Children, page 19
Liza wrote such a beautiful post here: http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/06/28/guest-post-meaningful-work-for-toddlers/ and I hope it was inspiring to those of you who have toddlers as your oldest children and you are trying to create your family life “from scratch”. I have a few things I would like to add as well to this meaningful post.
If you are wondering where to begin, Continue reading