This question came in awhile ago and I have been pondering it since in the back of my mind. I was not certain I had anything valuable to add; some things ”just are”
in life, but then I did think of something I wanted to say (uh, and it turned out to be way more than I expected, so you may need a cup of tea! LOL) Here is the original comment/question:
Here is a very honest admission for you: I get no satisfaction of out homekeeping and I am quite certain that I never will I *can* do all the things: cook delicious meals every day, ferment, and mill my own flour, I can sew and knit and paint, I can keep the home clean and in reasonable order. But when that is all I do, I can feel my soul slowly dying! I go through seasons of pulling myself together and even enjoying my tasks, and then falling apart, throwing in a towel, because after all, what’s the point? Yes, this is a lovely way to live, to have a cozy home and good food, but I.am.miserable. I’ve been told all manner of things: I’m lazy, I need to change my attitude, I need to get therapy to deal with some deep-seated resentment and blah-blah-blah. I feel that the truth is simpler than that. I am someone who is extremely extroverted, requires massive amounts of regular intellectual stimulation, and a great deal of variety in life There must be a way to find some kind of balance. I realize that my children are young (2, 4.5, and one on the way), I am quite realistic about the care, time and effort they require at this stage of life. But I just can’t give up my sanity and my very essence to keeping the home.
That is really hard and I think so many of us as mothers can identify with the feelings expressed in this comment. It can be so hard to do all the things we might think need to be associated with homemaking and parenting, to make things “right”. Maybe there is also a bit of perfectionism hidden within many of us – if we don’t do all these things, then our children will not do well. This can make things seem burdensome or a chore instead of light and lovely. And, it all can be such a big burden – why do I have to be The Queen of My Home? Can’t someone else do it? I just want to take the day off! There are days I feel that way as well. Continue reading