Children Who Resist School Time–Part Two

Homeschooling parents are often faced with the challenging task of teasing out why a child would resist a time of instruction and then what to do about it.  I was puzzling over this in the first part of this series and put forth some questions I always run through here.

I think there are two major thrusts to this – the part that YOU, as the parent and teacher, can change or put forth differently  and then also the part of the child.  Two separate but intertwined things that together can make a beautiful and fun experience or just lead to headlock.

In our home, I try to put forth a ho-hum attitude of  “this is our life”, the idea of not talking too much (which sometimes I fail at miserably, especially with the child that tends to throw me the most resistance), the idea of expecting things to generally go  well  and that we must work together in order for this to be a successful experience, and that we are a team.  I try to be careful about balancing the needs of three children of widely disparate ages within our school experience, and I try to be careful about what I expect.  However, I also feel older children ( especially those post nine year change) should start to have a sense and idea about personal responsibility and the part they play in making homeschooling a success or not.   This post is mainly geared toward those post-nine year change children.  (If you have questions about children in the Early Years or grades 1-3, please leave them below in the comment box. Perhaps I can write a different post).

It seems to me that in Waldorf homeschooling and homeschooling in general that we often talk about the “teacher” end of it.  What we should, could, be doing differently and how we should and could do that and we plan and plan again.  What we often don’t seem to want to talk about is that some children are just not peaceful when it comes to this sort of thing.

Some Waldorf Schools seem to fail miserably in the area of what to do with the child who is disrupting the entire grades class, and some schools have gone on and  accepted discipline policies that are very clearly outlined.   Some Waldorf Schools now only give a child two or three chances in the grades classrooms before they are expelled from the school.     Do you have a thought about  what to do with the disruption and lack of respect by your children in your own homeschool day, and the consequences of that?  What do you do?  If someone asked you what do you do if your child misbehaves in school consistently and, would you have a consistent answer for that?  Or would the response be just what you are feeling in the moment?

I often check myself by asking myself if I am letting them develop habits that will not serve them later in life at all? Am I giving them a false sense of freedom that will not hold true in the outside world?  Am I instilling in them a sense that they are above any rule, request or idea and how will that serve them as they lead their own families?  Is this such a bad habit that they are complaining about any contribution to not just homeschooling but family life in general?  Charlotte Mason talks a lot about habits, Steiner talks a lot about rhythms and building the will.  Are we doing our children favors in the way we approach our children’s resistance to things?

I think every family has a different way of dealing with situations such as these, a way that feels comfortable to them.  I  would just encourage you to find out what your way is, make the rule and consequence and that the children know that, and then follow through.  This is beyond homeschooling and into building a healthy adult.

I think discipline, this guiding of each other and the idea of instilling inner discipline  in general is part of how we grow up and live mature adult lives.  So therefore,  I am more Continue reading

Wrap Up of Week Eleven Seventh and Fourth Grade


I am trying to post a little wrap-up of each week of grades seven, four and five year old kindergarten year throughout the 36 weeks I have planned for school this year.  I hope this will encourage mothers that are homeschooling multiple children (or who want to but are worried!), and  encourage mothers that even homeschooling children of multiple ages who are far apart in age is doable.  You can find weeks nine and ten here and and further in back posts you can find a post pertaining to the first two days of school this year which gives insight to our general daily rhythm.


Changes in the Air:  I alluded to changing our daily rhythm due to seasonal changes and also to feeling as if we need a greater dose of movement each day.  I have also found at this point in the school year, almost a trimester complete, that with three children I need to have more of a schedule with times than a rhythmic flow in order that all the children get what they need.  That is a large change from past years when I really had more of a flow than set start times and end times, etc.  So I am still meditating on this, but right now I am thinking we will start at 8 with prayer, connecting with each other in love; 8:30 walk our dog; 9 start with our little kindergartener and his daily work and this can extend with our thirteen year old helping him as 9:45 is about the latest I can start with our fourth grader.  So whilst I am working with our fourth grader, our seventh grader can assist him and then also do some independent work in math or rough drafts of summaries and creative writing pieces whilst he plays by himself.  At 11:15 our seventh grader would be with me, with our fourth grader and kindergartener together.  Lunch at 12:30 and rest.  At 2, several days a week I would like to do crafts and handwork and several days a week do the requirements for the presidential fitness awards.  I have not figured out where to put foreign languages in this nor music practice…so I am still thinking.  For my own sanity, I don’t want to do any school past 3 and several days a week I would like to end earlier than that.  Thinking!

Kindergarten:  This week was mainly an autumn circle, fingerplays and seasonal songs, making broth and soup, making banana bread, and the story of the Pumpkin Motel found in Suzanne Down’s “Old Gnome Through The Year.”  There is still whittling going on as our oldest shared one of her wooden animals that she started with him and he is whittling and sanding quite happily. However, I still feel there needs to be a bit more to his day so I am thinking about that in relation to the rhythm/schedule above.  I am happy he has friends his age to play with many days of the week because as a third child and with his personality, he seems to crave that.

Fourth Grade:  This week we are solidly into local geography.  We began with Continue reading

Children Who Resist School Time


Sometimes I see mothers post on different forums regarding their child who is ‘’resisting” doing much of anything the parent/teacher presents.   I think sometimes bloggers are reluctant to blog about this because perhaps they too, are in the trenches of it all and don’t feel as if they have much to offer than to say, “It happens here as well.”  (Which in and of itself can be nice to hear, too).   No one really seems to want to talk about when things implode, or that bad days do occur, even in blogland.   Andrea over at Waldorf Salad and Cottage Fries wrote a   great post here about what happens when homeschooling becomes a battleground and how to make adjustments.

I have been thinking a lot about this.  I think the things that help me the most is to know myself, know my child and to know the curriculum.  I am a good teacher, and I am an even better teacher if I don’t have to spend my time dealing with children who are resisting everything and we spend our morning more in a headlock over what they don’t want to do rather than what we can do together to learn and have fun.  I am sure many of you feel that way!

Here is my list of observations regarding when things aren’t going well – something homeschooling has given me lots of  practice with! Continue reading

Let’s Read: Simplicity Parenting


We are at the last of this wonderful book, the epilogue, in which we see many of the principles of simplicity parenting applied to real-life cases.  The epilogue opens with the case of six-year-old Carla, who is full of aggressive and controlling behavior.  Kim John  Payne notes that the parents wanted to “please and appease” and that the six-year-old was well on her way to complete domination and control of the home.  Yet, this story is here because it shows that there is not an “ideal family” candidate for simplicity parenting and that any family can benefit.  Simplicity is not just about simplifying stuff, but clearing out the space to be in each other’s hearts and to nurture each other.  Increasing rhythm in the home, having more consistency in daily life is nothing but calming to the families of today.  Meals and bedtime routines are still the hallmark of making a house into a home.  He talks about the “sliding” we can do as parents into the company of our children. 

It all takes time and energy, but the benefits of balance can be so outstanding for family life.    I would love to hear your story about attaining balance and a simpler life!



Homeschooling Eighth Grade History In The Waldorf Curriculum


The work I am doing in teaching our American Colonial History block in seventh grade and thinking a bit to eighth grade has prompted a bit of a search for me for history resources to help guide my teaching.  I  recently went over to the Waldorf Library On Line and read the free ebook, “The Riddle of America” (which also would be lovely for those of you preparing for fifth grade next fall), and it was a great read for those of you interested in a perspective regarding American geography and history.

The thought of eighth grade history really has me a bit stymied.  Many talk about how the goal is to get the child up to “modern day times”.  However, I do know parents who put that “Revolutions” block in ninth grade.  Everything in history is also circled around again in high school, so I have been pondering this and how much detail or how far do I need to go in eighth grade.   I just found this blog post  about teaching eighth grade history and it was very helpful to me.  I am still thinking.  I also found this video, which I haven’t watched yet, about teaching American history in the eighth grade Waldorf classroom.

The thing I am finding most helpful, though is  the 123 paged AWNSA document, “Colloquium on American History”. It talks about teaching American history in high school, Waldorf high school teachers give many examples of what is taught when and why (and how this varies from region to region!), and looking at bias within history.  When I pull it up as a search, it goes directly to an Adobe document and I am not sure how to link to it, but it should come up if you search.

Here is a   document  by Betty Staley that details the high school grades, but also alludes to the seventh and eighth graders and their developmental changes and how the curriculum fits into that:

Would love to hear from you about this subject.  Many Waldorf homeschooling mothers have told me the history blocks can be difficult to plan because the biography/symptomology approach is foreign to them and the blocks cover huge expanses of time in grades one through eight.

Many blessings,

Time of Lanterns


This time of Halloween/All Saints Day/All Souls Day and leading into Martinmas leads me to think about light and lanterns.  There is a passage from the book “Celebrating Festivals With Children” by Freya Jaffke that I like regarding “Lantern Time”:

“Two lantern festivals mark this time.  From the Celtic tradition there is Halloween on October 31, and from Continental Europe we have Martinmas on November 11.  Halloween is connected with the earth, and its turnip or pumpkin lanterns are made of fruits from the ground.  Martinmas commemorates a human deed of sharing, and its paper lanterns are entirely made by human hand.  As the outer light of day diminishes, there is first a kind of afterglow of e earth – the turnip or pumpkin lanterns.  Then there is the human spark of kindness we see in the paper lanterns of Martinmas.  The light is gradually transformed from the outer light of the sun in summer to the internal spirit light of Advent and Christmas.”

This is a wonderful time of year to think about any changes in rhythm that you want to make as the days grow shorter, the nights longer and colder.  It is also a wonderful time to think about bringing light into your home.  I know Waldorf teachers who light lanterns whilst the children play and keep lanterns up in the school room until the light of Advent comes. Continue reading

Holiday Gifts To Make


Someone told me today that there are nine weekends left until Christmas Day.  Uh, no stress there at all!

That thought made me think about children and gifts and this article written by Pam Leo, author of Connection Parenting, and available over at Waldorf In The Home  here.  It speaks eloquently about slowing down the season, really choosing how we use our time, and how children love the preparation of the holidays….

Which led me to think about gifts that children love to make and give.  I have some tried and true favorites, including: Continue reading