A note about Waldorf guilt and the Waldorf police and a satisfying realization:  http://www.chocoeyes.blogspot.com/2012/02/mama-guilt-waldorf-police.html

A wonderful posts with a form for observation and assessment of the Waldorf student:  http://sweetpeasnursery.blogspot.com/2012/02/observation-of-children.html

I am thinking about fifth grade and gathering resources; I have most of our botany for the year planned out but here is a lovely link regarding Ancient India:  http://heirloomseasons.blogspot.com/2012/02/waldorf-fifth-grade-ancient-india.html  and some more Ancient Civilizations from a different blog:  http://homeschoolingwaldorf.wordpress.com/2012/01/31/more-ancient-civilizations/

Blessings,

Carrie

Did I  get up `early enough to feel steady, calm and unhurried?

Did I put on my apron or other attire to not only protect my own vital life forces whilst I am teaching, but also to set the stage that now we are in school?

Did I set the space of my work area where I will be with the children?

Did I center myself with a verse, a prayer, lighting a candle?

Did I cheerfully and lovingly greet the children for school?

Did we clean up at the end of school what could be cleaned up and close with a verse?

At the end of the day, did I review the day and meet my child again in prayer as to what that child needs from me in their  schooling, in their character development, in their life?  Was I prepared, and what could I do differently to be even more prepared?

Am I going to bed early enough to get up and do this again tomorrow?

Many blessings and much love,

Carrie

Please take this as a “I thought of this in quickly and you might be able to tweak it or use parts of  it or come up with something even better” kind of way, not as a definitive end product. 

Anyway, this is what I was thinking:

Name of Block:

Goals for Artistic Work:

Goals for Academic Work:

Goals for Social Skills or Character Development: (could be within the family, outside the family, personal development goals for that child):

Any notes on physical state of my child:

Any notes on the emotional state of my child:

Any notes on the spiritual state of my child:

Any special challenges in movement or other areas:

Chores:

Morning Gathering:

· Verse:

· Songs:

· Movement Games:

· Movement in Poetry:

· Movement for Childhood website suggestions:

· Mental Math:

· Spelling Words of the Week: (typically second grade and up, some Waldorf homeschoolers don’t do a lot of formal spelling, it depends upon your child and your approach!)

Main Lesson: (and the order of this may vary depending on what you are doing each day)

· Review of material: Through what means? Just talking together, drama, other forms?

· Response of Child/Lesson Activity – How will this be accomplished through drama, speech/poetry, drawing, painting, movement, modeling, handwork, singing and musical instruments – what are the artistic and academic pieces being brought here? Do the artistic pieces need teaching in themselves or “warm up activities” to help and guide the child?

· Presentation of New Material by Teacher – through what artistic means?

Break

Transition verses for child to come back to practical work or additional lessons:

Other Lessons:

Read-aloud Book:

Ideas For Practical or Artistic Work after lunch:

Closing Verse:

Maybe jumping off from this list will help you organize your homeschooling or even help re-vitalize it during the often dreary, weary month of February.

Many blessings and much love,

Carrie

I think how we deal with conflict comes down to two main things:  how we set boundaries and how we communicate.

I am sure secondary influences have to do with our own temperaments and our own patterns, and also what is impacting us in terms of stressful events in our lives outside of the conflict event. So, tell me, what is going on with you? Have you had a physical examination by a physician or other health care provider recently, how are your hormone levels, are you getting enough sleep? Who supports you in real life? Do you have any support? What patterns are you setting?

Those are important things, but we must also address boundaries and communication.  I want to make it clear that you can still choose to be calm and steady, even under stressful circumstances, should you choose and should you practice the tools to do this!

I am suggesting in parenting you pay special attention to boundaries because many mothers ask a child ten times to do or not do something and then they BLOW UP because the child still has not done what they asked. But many times the blow -up occurs because the mother was wishy- washy about the boundary, did not set the boundary but secretly wished it was set, or finally did set the boundary but didn’t follow through on the action part helping the child meet the boundary.  (The other piece that is connected to this is developmental capability, and many parents are expecting too much or not enough, but that is a topic for our next post!)

What many mothers that I speak with tell me is that they have a very hard time setting boundaries with ANYONE.  They say yes to everything, even when they want to say no. They don’t guard their time and then they feel overwhelmed.  They cannot come up with the words to say, “I want to listen to you but I cannot hear you when you speak to me that way” or “No, I cannot do that right now.  My schedule is full.”  or “Everyone in the family will help because we all live here.”  Those are all boundaries.  A mother will have difficulties setting the tone for their home and for their children if they can only say,  “Well, okay…..” to whatever someone within or outside the home suggests or wants or says. I am not suggesting a dictatorship run by mother by any means, but I am suggesting looking at your family’s values and aligning your words, your  time and your energy with that.  We can think what we want to think but without action, it all becomes rather meaningless and empty.  The thoughts count, but the words and the actions are what drives the family and creates the tone.

If you are searching for back posts about boundaries, here is a small sampling of posts:

http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/09/05/helping-a-child-learn-to-rule-over-himself/

and this one:

http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/02/16/step-up-and-be-the-parent/

This one: http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/12/15/gentle-discipline-connection-plus-boundaries/

And these two really hot button posts on authority and claiming authority in your home:  http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/12/02/re-claiming-authority-part-one/  and this one:  http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/12/05/re-claiming-authority-part-two/

Words are one form of communication in how we set boundaries. We also have wordless ways to communicate our boundaries, even if our words are saying something different than our gesture.  Small children need more physical follow-through and less direct commands.  Physically helping a small child put their arm into their coat whilst singing the song you always sing when it is time to go outside, for example, is a way of communicating a boundary and secure sense of how things are done in your family.

Words need to be kind, and not sarcastic.   Here is a classic post about the language we use and how it affects children:  http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/05/23/changing-our-parenting-language/

Think strongly about what boundaries your children need in order to grow up to be healthy adults.  Think about what boundaries you need so you are a healthy adult for them to model.  Follow through, keep calm and carry on!

Blessings,
Carrie

Today I am kicking off a week of posts regarding the topic of “Pondering” over at the Homespun Waldorf Winter Carnival.  Here is the link so you can check out my post and the forum:  http://homespunwaldorf.com/wordpress/2012/02/ponder-a-vision-for-your-family/

I like the Homespun Waldorf forum; it is run by mothers who are veteran Waldorf homeschoolers.  I enjoy that this forum is not connected to any particular curriculum, so mothers write very honest reviews of books and curricula and how it worked for their family.  There are also great threads on homemaking, and how mothers combine Waldorf with other methods.

Come join us to brighten up your winter days!

Many blessings,
Carrie

I have always loved this idea that the concept of gratitude is planted within the first seven years of life as this seed that later grows into how we love people and the world, and then how we have a duty toward people and the world  as an outgrowth of gratitude and love.  That, to me, is one of the true pathways and one of the ultimate goals of education and parenting inspired by Rudolf Steiner.

Gratitude is embedded in the way one looks at the world. It colors what words we choose to use with our spouses and partners, with our extended family, with our friends and with our children.  Some of my long-term readers may remember this post:  http://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/08/19/using-our-words-like-pearls/

It also colors our deeds and actions.  How do we show our gratitude to the world – whether this is my small corner of the world in my home or the whole world?

If we model gratitude, then our children learn gratitude. If we are never satisfied, never content, never happy, nothing is ever right, then our children learn to crave more and more.  If they see the love we have for all of humanity, then they will learn that gracious love.

Today is Candlemas, a beautiful day of light in the church.  May we all carry the light of gratitude within us, and shine this light for our children. Let us show and teach our children how to be content in all circumstances and  how to place others before themselves.

Grateful for all of you tonight,

Carrie

And make us ever mindful of Thy many blessings

Amen

(Blessing from my husband’s side of the family)

Father, we thank Thee for this food before us

Give us strength to do Thy will

Guide and protect us in Thy heavenly path

For Christ’s sake

Amen

(Blessing from my side of the family)

Mealtimes are a vital place to slow down, to bring together different traditions from your side of the family and your partner’s side of the family, to protect and nurture and linger together.

Studies show interesting connections between children’s behavior and whether or not they ate family meals.  Many studies show, for example, decreased rates  of childhood drug use and depression and  better school performance in families who have consistent meals together.  This was an interesting link that gathered much of the research on family meals together (the part about the effect of family meals on children of alcoholics who were now adults was especially  interesting!):  http://nutrition.wsu.edu/ebet/background.html.  See also this link: http://parenting.families.com/blog/why-families-should-eat-dinner-together

Some say as the children grow older, a big obstacle is outside activities scheduled at dinner time.  I often wonder if this happens in countries outside the United States; if you are one of my overseas readers please do feel free to leave a comment below!  I  really do understand!  My oldest child is busy in rhythmic gymnastics several days a week around dinnertime. However,  even with her gymnastics schedule, eating meals together is a priority. Every day.  I truly think it can be done if it is a priority of the whole family.

Eating whole foods is also a top priority.  Some mothers are so fabulous with culturing their own foods, grinding wheat or other grains to make their own bread, and cooking from scratch. Other mothers are just starting their journey into healthy, whole food eating, and I applaud them.  We are all on this journey, and some of us really did grow up without family meals or without meals made from scratch, so this is new territory.

If the idea of eating from scratch daily is new to you, or if  you are just headed into menu and meal planning, try this back post for some help:  http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/01/08/january-focus-on-the-home-meal-planning/

I really enjoyed Season of Joy’s post regarding eating whole foods on a budget (for a family of eight!).  You can read that post here:  http://ourseasonsofjoy.com/musings/whole-foods-journey-when-the-questions-change/

Besides the complexities of cooking, eating and sharing a meal with small children can be challenging.  Some mothers have told me this post was helpful to them regarding age by age expectations surrounding mealtimes:  http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/10/17/back-to-basics-realistic-expectations-for-mealtimes/

As children grow, mealtimes become a way to teach children manners and proper eating. Show your children how to pass the bowl of vegetables, how to create conversation during a meal.   Rightly done, mealtimes involve children in the preparation of healthy food and cleaning up from a meal.  There is so much more to mealtimes than just eating!

I love this quote from Kim John Payne’s book “Simplicity Parenting”:  “The family dinner is more than a meal.  Coming together, committing to a shared time and experience, exchanging conversation, food and attention…all of these add up to more than full bellies.  The nourishment is exponential.  Family stories, cultural markers, and information about how we live are passed around with the peas.  The process is more than the meal:  It is what comes before and after.  It is the reverence paid.  The process is also more important than the particulars.  Not only is it more forgiving, but also, like any rhythm, it gets better with practice.”

My plea is for all of you to plan healthy meals, to involve your children in growing food, shopping for food,and celebrating together as a family at every mealtime.

Much love and many blessings,

Carrie

Work! –  Many of you who have been reading this blog for quite some time know how frequently I have discussed the need for children to work around the home.  Ideally, this starts with the child of the ages birth through age seven  imitating YOUR work in the home and weaving in and out of that work to graduating to assigned responsibility within the home.  I have poised the question on this blog in the past about “if your child wasn’t home, what work would not be getting done?”

In one of the rhythm posts in this series we also talked about how inevitably homeschool burnout can be tied to feeling overwhelmed by our homes!  Mother is not there to be a servant to all on top of homeschooling; the whole family lives in the house and therefore the whole family helps nurture the home. Working as a family in the home is every as bit as valuable as team sports in learning how to work together as a team.

Play –  Play is the foundation and bedrock of the Early Years, ages birth through seven, and is also the heart of middle childhood in the grades, ages seven to fourteen.

The lack of self –directed play amongst children today is startling, as is the inability of many children to initiate and play simple games in a group of children.  I feel this phenomenon, in part, can be traced to the advent of having to arrange “play-dates” for children to play, along with the creeping of classes and lessons for the ever-younger ages.  I think too, with the lack of very large families and extended family around, there is less of an opportunity at home and in the neighborhood to even learn how to play by watching older siblings or cousins at play.

It is daunting, isn’t it? Yet, the primary task of us as parents and educators for our children is to get our children in their bodies and play is the number one way to do this!  Please do get your children outside in nature, let them be bored and discover genius in their boredom, let them dream and discover waiting.  I love this quote from Kim John Payne’s book, “Simplicity Parenting”:

“Here is the world!” we seem to offer as we drive our children from one activity to the next.  Rather than creating excitement, overloading a child’s schedule creates high expectations.  “What’s the next great thing” they ask in return.  If we pull back on scheduling, a child can see something coming up; they can literally “look forward” to it.  This allows anticipating to build.  And anticipation is more than a simple pleasure.  It is identity building.”

“Simplicity Parenting” has a number of good suggestions for dealing with outside activities, including using consecutive quiet  and “ordinary” days to balance out busy days, creating “Sabbath” moments by day and by week, scheduling lighter and heavier seasons throughout the year. I think any step  a family can take toward reducing outside pressure for children under the age of 12 is really positive, especially for  younger children who are in school and who are gone from their homes all day long.  A balance to outside activities so free play, dreaming, waiting and anticipation can begin is so vital.

Here are a few oldie but goodie posts on the specifics of fostering play for the Early Years group:

http://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/10/29/more-about-fostering-creative-play/

http://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/10/05/fostering-creative-play/

http://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/11/24/connecting-your-children-to-nature/

At this time of year, many homeschooling families are starting to think about and plan for the next school year already….let your evaluation of outside activities and the amount of chores, work, responsibility and time to play be part of this evaluation.  I don’t know about you, but I am feeling inspired to make some changes!

Much love and many blessings,
Carrie

Vestibular – exercises are recommended around three types of stimulation:  horizontal movement around a vertical plans, such as spinning and rolling; vertical movement around a horizontal plane such as swings and see saws, along with cartwheels and handstands; and tilting and rebound kinds of movement such as trampolines, wobble boards. Position whilst doing these activities also counts – whether they are performed lying down, sitting, crawling, walking, kneeling.

For the Baby -  “When awake and physically separated from its mother, the baby’s next natural playground is the floor.  It is from the ground that a child can learn to develop muscle tone as an opposing force to gravity.”  The author points out that infants should experience both passive movement through being carried in a sling or carrier and active movement on the floor.  The baby should always lead.  Suggestions in this part of the chapter included gentle vestibular stimulation, developing monocular vision by breastfeeding or changing sides when bottle feeding, play on the tummy and the back as well and social play with the mother. Swimming, singing and talking and less use of baby equipment is also mentioned.

“The mother provides the child with his first mirror on the world and research indicates that this primal relationship plays an important part in developing connections to centres in the brain that will be involved in regulation of emotions and impulses later in life.  It is important that motherhood is valued in a rapidly-changing society.”

Touch – massage, games such as “This Little Piggy Went To Market”, patting, and time spent on the back are important components of touch.  For older children, playing eyes with the eyes closed and touch  can stimulate this sense as well – the child has his or her eyes closed, you touch  an arm or leg and the child tries to touch exactly where you touched.

Sound – Hum, dance, sing, gently tap or rock to a beat, sing familiar tunes but put in words about what you all are doing, tell simple stories.

There are 21 exercises in this chapter that are illustrated for the use of the parents as done through a story with movement activities (geared toward ages 3 and a half to 6 years of age).

This has been an interesting book to look at chapter by chapter!

Hope you enjoyed it.

Many blessings,

Carrie

Small children take in sense impressions all day long, without any kind of filter on those impressions.  They also tend to go “full force” in their work and play without a good ability to balance these inward and outward forces.  And lastly, small children under the age of 9 really have a difficult time balancing their excesses of emotion, of bringing their emotional and feeling life being into balance.  Rhythm is strength for them, and for the brief reasons mentioned above,  sleep and rest are vitally important for small children.

One thing that forms the basis of health is stillness.  Stillness is the basis for nearly all spiritual traditions around the world.  In my own tradition of Christianity, the Early Church Fathers discussed stillness, prayer, love, and self-control.  Stillness is also the basis for wonder and awe which leads to a sense of goodness in the small child, this idea that the world is a good place, which is a foundation of health.  When we have consistent sleep and rest times for the whole family, I think we convey to children that being still is valued.  That resting is okay.  That having an unhurried pace is okay.

In this age of information overload and the “need” to respond to things “right now, hurry, hurry and respond and don’t think first” I think  through rest and sleep we are giving our children the foundation to be able to say as adults, “That is interesting.  Please let me think about it and I will respond to you in a bit.”  We are giving our children the ability to find the stillness to connect with themselves, with the natural world and with the spiritual world.  We are giving them the tools for health.

Rest –   I was thinking today about how adults also use meditation and prayer as a form of resting connection, and how children really use rest to rejuvenate themselves as well. Children can also start to learn the fundamental basics of resting in prayer and other spiritual practices as according to their family culture as a form of health.

In rest, we also think of the physical act of resting.  A consistent napping schedule is important for small children (and adults enjoy this as well if they let themselves rest!).

I have often observed two main transition points for naps:

• Going from two naps that normally end up beginning around 10 AM and 2PM to one nap that usually then starts around 12 or 1. An interesting observation I have had over the years is that children who are having challenges around bedtime often have a nap that is scheduled to end too late. Once children become older toddlers, they may fight going down for a nap to a certain extent, even if you have had a wonderfully consistent routine. In those cases, I often just tried to make a dim place with a comfortable nest and told a very slow, repetitive story and to remain as neutral as possible. Having something repetitive to do with one’s hands can often be helpful in these situations.

• The other transition point I have seen is when the nap is dropped and we move into holding a quiet time after lunch.  This is something the whole family can hold, including mother sitting down and resting as well.  If you are homeschooling, this is truly important.

We have had many discussions on this blog about rest, quiet times, naps.  Here are a few of my favorite back posts on this subject:  http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/10/05/cultivating-stillness-and-silence/

http://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/09/23/more-about-quiet-time/

Sleep is important, and to me, intricately tied to warmth.  Does the child feel emotionally embraced and warm?  Physically warm?  There is something so vulnerable about drifting off to sleep, and I think some children are more sensitive than other in regards to letting that happen.

The other thing I often think about with sleep besides rhythm and when wake-up and nap times are includes physical exertion and being outside, but for children ages 7 and up, also the permeation of artistic activity into the day. There is some discussion of this artistic activity and how this relates to sleep in the lectures compiled in the book “A Modern Art of Education” by Rudolf Steiner.

Here are some ideas about  babies and sleep:  http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/03/03/the-peaceful-baby-in-march-sleep-part-one/   and this one:    http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/03/04/the-peaceful-baby-in-march-sleep-part-two/

And this is a pretty comprehensive look at how to handle bedtime struggles:   http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/05/29/struggling-at-bedtime/

Many physicians tie the liver into sleep challenges.  Here is an article by physician Susan Johnson on this subject:   http://www.waldorflibrary.org/Journal_Articles/GW4003.pdf

There is also an interesting article by Waldorf Educator Arthur Auer here regarding sleep and its importance to education:  http://www.waldorflibrary.org/Journal_Articles/RB1401.pdf

Much love to all, and peaceful rest,

Carrie