For several years now I had been in this period of life where things were sometimes light, sometimes dark, but usually just a mingled grey. It started with overwhelm as things slowly happened one after another, built up and then moved into this climax of life: people passed away that I loved and things that I loved died. I hung on to being in the now, because the future seemed far away and murky with nothing there to really grasp or see. I also felt like I was in the “middle” a lot, and just didn’t feel strongly enough to “really” fit anywhere. All I had was the faith that God had a plan for me, and perhaps, yes, even a plan for the me that I am outside of my own children and family. I felt like He was calling me to something, but I had no idea what.
In this Eastertide, in this very first inkling with the seedlings of the earth, several things started mingling in my head and my heart….It started with a look at a Master’s Program in healing education some time ago; it continued with lots of reading and going through Lent and digging into Anglicanism…and it is still germinating with my visit to a biodynamic farm where the owner’s words about loving the earth and loving and nourishing each other echo in my head.
Newness is germinating inside me, like a little seed. Whereas I spent last summer so empty (http://theparentingpassageway.com/2013/07/01/emptiness/), I am hoping that this summer is a path to fullness and to love. I feel like I am poised to learn something and do something new, to be new and to bring something new to others. We are all at our best when we can share our journeys and what we have learned with each other in love. Love is the pathway of all of humanity, especially in education and parenting.
I will keep you posted as to what all that might mean as I figure it out myself, but something new is entering…