Our 31 days to the inner rhythm of the heart, the root foundation of a house of peace, is in progress. In the vein of those who are setting a New Year’s intention with “one word”, I offer the word of today to you: boundaries. Read on for more…
If you take the values and priorities of your family, you will automatically find the places where boundaries matter. Boundaries will matter because they will help back up your vision for your family. It is not enough to say that you don’t want yelling in your home. It must be what you value and want to promote instead of yelling. This will help help you be “relentless” (remember that word from day six in this series?) in your pursuit.
Boundaries are also exceedingly important because many mothers tell me that they are, in fact, patient….the first ten times they deal with an issue or challenge with their children. It is by the time the child has looked for the boundary for the twentieth or fiftieth time that they begin to yell.
The important thing with boundaries is to -
1. Identify what the boundaries are in your family. What are the things in your family that you want to see more of and what gets in the way? That gives you a clue as to a boundary.
2. What can you do to help a child or adult in the family stick to the boundary that helps makes everyone comfortable…the first time? What do you need to do to help that along?
3. What is the natural consequence of going over the boundary? Yelling is not a natural consequence; it is not a teaching tool. So what is the consequence?
4. Most importantly, how does the person make restitution for going over the boundary?
5. And, lastly, where is your inner work so that you, as the parent, see that you have the authority to be the loving, kind guide to make all this happen?