In many ways, this has been one of the best summers I have ever had. It has been a series of carefree camping, swimming and kayaking dates, interspersed with lots of time with friends and family. It has been wonderful and healing for my soul in so many ways.
My friend Catherine wrote a post about emptiness and about having compassion for oneself. It is a must-read, as is the post she linked to as well: http://catherine-et-les-fees.blogspot.com/2013/06/emptiness.html
It so resonated with me because underneath my really fun summer, emptiness and grief has been a theme of this whole year for me. Time can be so healing, but yet not enough time has passed, so those emotions and events are still there in my soul, digesting and breaking down.
Empty. Drained. Exhausted.
Not full, but empty.
There is still laughter and fun, but it is there underneath, this feeling.
Sometimes life is like this tide of outward expansion, inward contraction…full and empty, alone and then in companionship. But it can be so hard when one feels so unsafe, so unprotected, so…challenged and swimming upstream at every turn. It can be so hard when your “ho hum” has left the building and run away because you feel so raw about everything.
Yet, a curious thing has come out of this summer, simply because I really took some steps to protect myself in rest, to protect myself in peace. The emptiness has not gone away, there are really raw moments, but I am starting to see it all as something different. I am starting to see it all as gifts.
A gift of Continue reading