During my time of moving houses, I have had several very important issues swirling about in my head with no opportunity to write them down until tonight. So, you will be seeing some deeply thought and deeply held posts coming from The Parenting Passageway over the next several days.
One thing that I was thinking about fervently was the essential soul tasks of the small child. If you have been a long-time reader of this blog, I hope over the years I have convinced you of the utmost importance of the physical development of the small child through time and space outside. We think of a very tiny child of ages birth through three as struggling through space over time to achieve being upright, then progressing to speech and from speech flowing into thought. During the Early Years, we also develop our twelve senses, and I often think of such things as the awareness of our bodies (what is us? what is others?). This is done through work and also through imaginative play.
But on the soul level, there is a very important task for this age, which is relating to others, and how the child finds their place within a group. The small child’s experiences with trust of others, belonging with others, finding safety and acceptance of others and within others is all part of this experience. So is the reverence that we often cannot fully see until we stand present with another. I have had the wonderful experience of my almost three year old and his very best friend on earth whom I shall call Little Friend. He and Little Friend adore each other; they run to see each other in the utter thrill that only two best friends can share and laugh in joy. They chase “moonbears” (their code name for grasshoppers) through the grass, wonder at each spider web and bug, and show such deep reverence and awe at each step of Creation. It is amazing to watch and it has shown me the deep ability of the small child to love outside of his own immediate family. For some of you, this is a moment of “Duh!” and for some of you this is a moment of thoughtfulness. If you can think back to your smallest days, where did you feel safe? Where did you feel loved? Where did you feel you belong? Where were you part of a community? Did you feel accepted and loved or on the outside? Why? How would you answer these questions about your own children?
I have received three separate emails this week asking about five or five and a half year olds and finding the balance of being home and the need for friends (or not). I think many homeschoolers would say there is no need for interaction outside the family per se; especially perhaps for those with larger families. But for those with smaller families or children who are close to age six with only a baby perhaps to “play” with, the question remains… And then people tell me they have tried to look for community and nothing that resonates with them is available, so what do they do? Do they do classes? How do they meet people? Is playing with a friend once a month or once every few months enough? Continue reading