The Rant: Get Out Of Your Own Way!

 

Okay, today I am less in encouraging mode and more in rant-y mode, so if you are not in the mood for a kick in the pants kind of post, do feel absolutely free to check back in tomorrow.  That’s the disclaimer.  And here it is, bluntly:

 

Folks, I want you all to stop researching, and start making some decisions and DOING.  If what you decide doesn’t work out the way you want, you can tweak things.  You can change your mind, if it is something to do with parenting or discipline.  If it is something to do with curriculum choices for homeschooling, you can jump off the pages and make it more your own, if it is a curriculum you bought -  bring it alive for your child (or re-sell the darn thing!)  Make a decision, stick to it and give it some time, and then tweak or change.  You can do this!  Get out of your own way!  Do what your heart is calling you to do, without fear!  I am less interested in why something WON’T work then how to MAKE it work.  Try it!

 

I am meeting more and more mothers lately who are so lovely and sweet but they seem so driven by pure and utter fear.  Fear of being judged of others.  Fear of “since I can’t do it 150 percent “right” –whatever that is- I won’t do it at all!”  Fear of failure.  Fear of making a commitment, even though they keep circling back around to the same things over and over.

 

If fear, negativity and anxiety are fueling you, no wonder you feel paralyzed in making decisions!!  The more you get used to doing a REASONABLE amount of looking at the issues and making a decision and moving forward, the more you will get used to ACTION.

 

Action takes practice.  It doesn’t always feel “safe”.  But everything in life has pros and cons, polarities.  There is no 100 percent failsafe.  Have courage, have joy, take action and move forward!  It only takes baby steps and dipping a toe in, not this headlong dive into perfection and dogmatic thinking – and that is whether it is homeschooling, positive discipline or attachment parenting.  Be proud of the small successes and keep moving forward.

 

Create an action plan for whatever challenge you are facing.  And part of your action plan should be to do something small for yourself everyday.  Some of the mothers I meet I think are partially paralyzed because there is nothing for them at all,  they are pouring everything into their children, and they are harried, hurried and worn-out. 

 

Help yourself out by taking on only what you can handle!  Are you rushing around every morning and afternoon and squishing homeschooling in around all that?  Where is your time for your action plan if you are not home?  I had a dear, dear friend say to me several weekends ago, ‘You know, Carrie, I cannot hear that still small voice of God, I cannot find and listen to my own intuition, if I am just rushing around.”

 

YES, dear sweet friend, YES. 

 

Take care of business first; discern what is essential, create an action plan, and each day do something small to help you reach your goal.  Start somewhere.  No one will fault you for being where you are, but now is the time to move forward!  Make decisions, take time to see how things work out, and then tweak or change.  But move forward, and quit swimming in circles over fear, judgment, negativity, semantics, or pressure. 

 

It is spring, there is new growth and change in the air, and  a perfect time to start getting ready for fall school!

 

There, was that so bad?

Love,

Carrie

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19 thoughts on “The Rant: Get Out Of Your Own Way!

  1. No, that wasn’t so bad. Thank you for it!! I needed to hear that. I’m currently stuck with not knowing what curriculum to go with for my rising first grader. This is my first venture into the grades and I feel lost! Any suggestions? Thanks!

  2. Yes! And sometimes I find that when I just “let go” of what I think someone else would say I “should” be doing, beautiful simple things bubble up. Like reading a beloved story and re-enacting it over and over. The positive side for those of us who have done a TON of research is that we have it all in ourselves somewhere. Now we just need to give our selves the space to breathe and see what the moment calls for. This is the beauty of being home with our littles-we can DO things when it flows not at some prescribed time.

  3. ha! i came to this point a few months ago when i realized, well look at that, i AM doing it. this IS homeschool. love it. kicks in the pants are good sometimes :)

  4. Nothing like a good kick in the behind from time to time! I needed this. It’s like you read my mind. Thank you for posting!

  5. I can really remember being plagued by paralysis when I first came to Waldorf. There is so much to learn and I was so afraid of doing it wrong. Getting a consultation really helped me to get over this – I guess it was like a kick in the pants. I still get in my way sometimes, but it is less and less often. I think sometimes “fake it ’til you make it” is the best way to go.
    I’m loving “Rantie Carrie” by the way!
    XO-
    Sheila

  6. Ah Carrie! Can I say I love you without sounding like a stalker? :-) I have always loved your blog and all the ideas and insights that you have helped us to collectively ponder. And I have always loved the sense of peace you bring to all of those conversations. But I have to say, I am truly happy to see this side of you. This is a side I resonate with well, and it show’s the whole. We all have so many sides to who we are, and so many different strengths within those pieces. All of them need a voice and when your voice is ready to kick butt, it’s a joy to listen. I am more the kicker or the pusher and that is the voice of my blog http://breaktheparentingmold.com/ but you give me a place to come to for balance and I appreciate every word. All the best, Jen

  7. Oh thank you for this post. I really needed a good kick in the pants today! I have been stuck in so many areas and I do believe I just need to DO something. Anything really and see what happens next. Many blessings to you!

  8. I’m completely with you! Several months ago I decided I had researched to infinity and I was DONE! I was using up all of my life energy finding the PERFECT things to do for the right times, and while we did enjoy doing all of those things it takes a lot of the joy out of living in the moment. I am not even browsing my favorite “idea websites” or yahoogroups any more. I only read your blog posts and one art mama’s blog posts. Otherwise I am getting downright anti-computer. I want peace to reign in my mind. I am tired of the frenzy of researching, and I devote all of that researching time to meditation. The peace and warmth in my home has increased dramatically. And we are doing so much more. My 4YO daughter actually doesn’t need “the perfect” anything. She needs a warm, loving, PRESENT mother!

  9. Love the rant and reading all these encouraging posts. I am not alone! We all know what makes us fearful. For me, it is the way we are steadily destroying our planet. Doing something locally (e.g. we have now set up a local recycling centre) has given me the confidence to set goals for learning with our kids, celebrate the small steps and take the next move!

  10. Hey Carrie, my post never came through on this one, but I wanted to say that this is my most favorite post of yours that I’ve ever read! SO TRUE! I too am struggling with this right now, so your words of advice were right on. Thank you!

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