We are at the last of the eight facets of a healthy family culture! Writing about the impact that the state of intimate relationships in a household can be a tricky proposition for many reasons, and one I hesitated writing about until the end.
First of all, I don’t want those in families led by a single adult to feel not included or to feel that a single family household is somehow sub-par. I also know from over the years that different marriages and partnerships have different feels to them, and how different couples define “a good marriage” seems to vary, but somehow they work, so giving “advice” about this seems to be difficult at best.
However, what I have seen over the years is that when the intimate relationships within the household are not working well or are strained, it affects family culture, it can really affect the children, and so I did want to mention this as part of the foundation of healthy family life.
Many sources say it is actually not conflict that diminishes marriages, but rather lack of kindness, lack of patience and tolerance and a general lack of sense of love or being loved.
John M. Gottman, in the book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”, asserts that happy marriages are based upon a “mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s company. These couples tend to know each other intimately – they are well versed in each other’s likes, dislikes, personality quirks, hopes, and dreams. They have
an abiding regard for each other and express this fondness not just in the big ways but the little ways day in and day out.” This book is such an interesting read, we are going to go through it chapter by chapter on this blog starting this week!
I have written some back posts about marriage. You can find these posts under the “marriage” tab under “Family Life” in the header of this blog starting here: http://theparentingpassageway.com/category/family-life/marriage-family-life/
Homeschooling, raising small children, the financial strain that can go with raising a family, can all seem to draw a couple closer together or drive them further apart. I would love to hear from you: what do you do to nurture your marriage or partnership? If you are alone and doing all this, how do you nourish yourself? If you are in marriage but still rather alone in marriage, how do you cope with this?
I would love to hear from you!
Many blessings and much love,