The very last part of this chapter is entitled, “The “Special” Child Challenge”. It opens with a scenario about a little boy called Eben who was born prematurely and as a result had faced a variety of physical problems that lasted into childhood and affected his ability to play and participate in everyday life. His mother related how she tried so hard to hold it all together in front of him that she realized she never showed him some of her authentic emotions.
Many of the long-time readers to this blog know that I was born prematurely (and my husband was as well!), we also have one daughter who was born prematurely and my work as a neonatal physical therapist involved feeding and development for infants in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Children who are facing special challenges, whether these be physical or emotional or spiritual (and how can we tease every thing out so separately! It is all part of the holistic human being!) are very close to my heart.
This chapter points out “many parents [of children with challenges] admit that the deeply felt emotions of rage, unfairness, and resentment never completely go away. Even the strongest parents could find their anger triggered anew by a reminder that their disabled child would never experience – or share with them-the normal daily pleasures.”
The authors go on to point out that the anger some parents experienced lessened once they could let go of the “why” and the need to find answers and move more into acceptance and the realization that this challenge, whilst sad and upsetting at times, it is only a small part of the essence of the child. The child is bigger than “only” the disability or challenge.
I have known many parents and families whose children have had challenges that have been walking a long road in helping to heal their children. I wondered how you felt about anger, special challenges, and what helps.