As a piece of lint on the floor. Ho-hum, ho-hum. I am over here doing real work, and please come join me. I hear you, I see you, I will connect with you and help you move into work and movement. I will help you with a good sense of humor. I will help you stick to the boundary I set, but with my ho-hum.
A fifteen month old will arch and protest over what he does not want to do. A two-year-old will experiment with “no” about a million times. A four-year-old will get wound up and use “potty words”. A six-year-old will tell you they hate you and slam doors. A nine or ten year old will experiment with swear words (which is about the equivalent of a four year old saying potty words).
It is hard not get emotionally wound up about challenging behaviors when they stem from our own children, when these behaviors stem from pushing against the boundaries we have set, and when we have to live with this pushing against forms 24 hours a day.
Yet, the more you can be warm and loving but ho-hum, the better life will be.
The more we can stop and think before we say something or do something, the more we model that temperance for children that is so important. However, by the same token, we do not model passively sitting by and doing nothing when something clearly needs to be done. There needs to be a Middle Way, which is something that Waldorf Education frequently talks about.
We want to raise a generation of children who can take that moment to pause and to think before they act, but yet we also want to raise a generation of children who will grow up to DO. We want to raise a generation of children who are healthy enough in their bodies and their minds that they can do what will need to be done to make our world a better place but to do it with thoughtfulness and reverence.
And it all starts in the home, with us, the parents, being able to distinguish and discern when to act, when not to act, what to say and what not to say. It starts with us, the parents, being able to give our children a childhood that is real and authentic and not a watered-down version of adult reality. It requires boundaries and it requires love. A whole lotta of love.
And it requires a ho-hum attitude.
Be peaceful. Be authentic and be real, but know when to raise a fuss and when to be ho-hum. Big things require big reactions, but little things do not.
That is part of the parenting path and work for us as parents in this year and in this time.