Back to Basics: Parenting With A Plan

We are continuing with our back to basics series this month by remembering to look at our parenting as part of a bigger picture and an overall plan.  Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result!

Many families have told me that having a family mission statement is helpful to them.  Here is a bit of a post from May 2010 in which I addressed mission statements, and a little about life and homeschooling:

You are the architect, you are the designer, you are the artist of your life and the lives of your children.  If things are overwhelming right now,it is okay to say no to things.  It is okay to set boundaries.  It is okay to be real and authentic and honest about what you can and cannot handle!

One thing that always helps me is  to go back to our Family Mission Statement.  Here is a back post about writing a family mission statement, you can see that here:  http://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/08/creating-a-family-mission-statement/  Once you have this piece of paper, please do make sure to review it, use it, keep it in your mind as you make decisions.  It should be like a guiding compass for your family and the things you choose to do as a family.

The other thing that can keep you centered is to have your own Personal Mission Statement or what some people call a Personal Vision Statement.  The more you can develop yourself, learn about yourself, and calm and center yourself (which means actually figuring out what makes you feel calm and centered to begin with :) ), your family will absolutely benefit.  Children want a mother that is calmly in control of things and can be a resource, a guide, a boundary, a wall to bounce off if need be – but a gentle, calm and nurturing presence.  What children don’t want is out- of- control, screaming and yelling parents where the whole atmosphere of the house feels stressed and falling apart.  You can get to the first thing, but you have to stop and think.

  • Think about what would make the biggest difference in your life to make yourself more calm.
  • Think about what your priorities really are, and how your life could reflect that. 
  • How could your marriage be a priority?  What would that look like?
  • If your children are small, they must be a priority.  They are depending upon you to guide them and to love them and to teach them.
  • What do you want your homeschooling adventure to look like?  Have you assessed your child and know what they need to work on – not just “skill-wise” but also emotionally, physically, spiritually?  What do they need to develop into “whole” human beings?  What would your homeschooling look like to reflect that? 

The process of writing mission statement, whether personal or family,  should help you start to figure out how to discern the core values in your family and then you can move on to HOW you show your core values.  These values should show in how you treat your spouse, how you treat your children, and how you interact with those outside of your family.  Just as an example, our Family Mission Statement involves Kindness, Integrity and Positive Attitudes.  The values are what we come back to time and time again.  Try this process for yourself and see what arises from it!

Do you have a parenting notebook where you plan, write, dream, read?  Here is a back post about that:  http://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/11/22/my-notebook/  I would love it if you have a parenting notebook and you would like to share about this, or the process of when you made one.  Please do leave a comment and a link in the comment boxes to help other families get started!

What time do you take every week to learn more about parenting? To connect with parents who are parenting the way you wish to?  To talk with a parenting mentor?  To read something that will help you in your parenting?  You can see more about my personal parenting plan right here: http://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/12/10/my-plan-for-personal-development-as-a-homemaker/

Take the time this week to set up a notebook or binder for yourself and get to work!

Many blessings,

Carrie

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4 thoughts on “Back to Basics: Parenting With A Plan

  1. This post arrive to me with perfect timing. I’ve been wondering how to make my blended family more cohesive. I think a clear family mission statement is the anchor we have been missing. Thank you.

  2. Hi Carrie,

    I absolutely adore your blog and as a “newer” reader (started in early 2010) I have been slowly working my way backwards. I love that you are getting Back to Basics this month. I came across your 20 Days toward Being a Mindful Mother series and was wondering if you happened to have a post somewhere that puts these all together into one post? My computer is being a little tricky these days and I would like to be able to print out these posts to read. Just thought I would see if they were all put together somewhere so I could print one huge post. If not, no problem…I’ll print them out one by one. Thanks Carrie and thank you for all the inspiration thus far!

  3. I love these back to basics posts. Well, I love the whole blog! You are really encouraging me to get control of my life and focus on what is important. I read several back posts and am trying to assemble my notebook now. I would love more examples if anyone wants to share. I feel overwhelmed, but am using flylady, you and some books you suggested to try to get a rythym going. I know I need to start with my innerwork….

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