My children are 2.5 yrs and 8 months now, and I experienced (and still do!) the points you listed in your posts. I think the biggest thing I have gained over the last year is PERSPECTIVE. Despite babywearing, rhythm, and support, there are just times when a small someone in my house will not be happy no matter what I do. My infant has had to wait briefly to be held at times which I did not have to do with my oldest and my oldest has to wait, too. I think the best way to reduce sibling rivalry is to let my oldest see that the baby has to wait (although not as long as he!) for a hug or pick up or drink or whatever the need. I also carve out small pockets of time for one on one time with each child (with the help of my mom and trusted sitter–finding a sitter is a whole other story, though…). Now, instead of intolerance or violent outbursts, my older son responds to his sister’s cries with soothing words and ‘help’ (aka giving her toys). I have also found that with two children, there is less of a ‘routine’ although there is a distinct rhythm to our days. Naps and meals are a part of every day, but as the baby grows and her needs change, there is often a shifting of events throughout the day. It seems to me that the more children you have, the more you just need ‘to go with the flow’ sometimes.

I agree with you that one of the best gifts you can give your child is a sibling. Seeing even just the briefest of loving exchange between the two of them — a shared smile or laugh — fills my heart with so much joy.

I have an almost 3yo and an 8mo .. I have to say, its becoming more challenging as my 8mo grows. It was easier when she was a newborn.

So, its challenging, its hard, its demanding, its exhausting, and I have never been happier in my life.

So thank you for the truth, being hard doesnt mean it isnt wonderful and worth while.

On a related topic, I have really noticed the importance of my modeling during these past few weeks. To be honest, I get overwhelmed by the noise and intensity of my daughter’s crying as well (and yes, we babywear, cosleep, nurse on demand, EC, etc, etc, and just apparently have very, very intense babies, lol), and yelled at my son for his yelling in the midst of her being upset. I am slowly trying to get control of myself back, reintroduce self-care (no easy feat since my husband’s schedule is exhausting for both of us – we have a not quite year old business that he runs). But man, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.