Comments on: The Typical Ages of Disequilibrium http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/ Peaceful Parenting for a Hectic World Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:11:42 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Carrie http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-12494 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:46:34 +0000 http://dendtler.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-12494 Hi Sarah,
THank you for coming to this space for inspiration. Four and six are the ages I get the most questions regarding discipline about, and there are many blog posts on here regarding those ages. They are challenging ones! Yes, I have some suggestions, but I would like to know how old your other child is, and to have a few examples of what you are trying to do when he is being disruptive to your rhythm. At almost four, I would expect him to push against things, and I know he may look very big compared to your younger child, but almost four is really, really tiny. I think you are in the land of redirection and movement and fantasy and time in by you if the boundary you have set is broken and he is not able to be re-directed to be helpful. Four year olds also need copious amounts of time outside – four to six hours a day is not too little!
So, I think I can help you but I guess I need more information or some examples…

Many blessings,
Carrie

]]> By: Sarah http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-12492 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:17:38 +0000 http://dendtler.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-12492 Thank you for the post. I follow this blog regularly for gentle parenting advice. I have been having a hard time with my almost 4 year old (he’ll be 4 in April) and he seems to fit right in with the characteristics listed here for the 4 year old. What I want to know is how do I deal with this behavior? I’m trying my hardest to be gentle with him but I feel like a failure and I’m embarrassed by this behavior. We do have a general rhythm to our day but, outside of sleep/wake and meal times, he can be very resistant to any suggested activities and when I initiate them hoping he’ll join in he becomes a major distraction, to the point where I need to stop what I’m doing with the littler one to “redirect” or “discipline” him. I feel bad doing time outs because I don’t want him to feel cast away for having strong feelings and I don’t want him to feel like I’m excluding him, but I don’t know what else to do.
It’s not fair to the little one to have to be interupted so often!
Do you have any suggestions???

]]> By: Happy Birthday, Eden! | Keren Threlfall http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-12137 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 00:06:29 +0000 http://dendtler.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-12137 [...] the more of the two-year -old characteristics than Hana Kate did, but I think she’s reached a point of equilibrium for [...]

]]> By: Joann Parker http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-11708 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 04:00:45 +0000 http://dendtler.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-11708 Hello,
The developmental information from the Gesell Institute is so important for people to know!
I’m so glad you share it with others. I attended a Gesell Institute workshop a number of years ago, and the information about the child ages 18 months to 2 years was different from the Gesell Institute books, titled “Your One Year Old,” “Your Two Year Old,” etc. I called the Gesell Institute recently to ask if their books were being updated–it’s been years, and if they stand by the info in their books regarding this age range or were planning to change the info. I was told that the into would change to reflect the information I’d heard:
15 months: disequilibrium–insecure, clingy whiny, fearful.
18 months: Equilibrium–Stage of lots of growth. Happier, able to do so many more things, like focus on activity, hold a crayon, climb, often exhibit a burst of language, exhibit a sense of humor
and more.
21 months: Disequilibrium–similar to 15 months. Very concerned about sharing–ownership
issues cause a great deal of stress.
2 years: Equilibrium–pleasing, affectionate, etc.

Of course, Gesell speaks of developmental age. Children don’t necessarily go thought these phases “on time,” but in their own time. For some children, these phases are a blip on the radar,
and for others the stages of disequilibrium are long and intense. It’s important to remember that children are constantly striving, and not acting in “negative” ways on purpose! The more insecure a child feels, the more rigid is the behavior he or she exhibits. The child is trying to be in control
when he or she feels out of control. It’s important to see the innocence of their thoughts and actions. It’s also important to set limits that need to be set, but limits can be set in both firm and consistent, and respectful and loving ways.

Parents just need to know that there is nothing wrong with their children, and nothing wrong with them! It’s important to support children through these stages. When children are exhibiting trying behavior, and seem unlovable, that is when they need to most love.

]]> By: Happy Birthday, Eden! « Beauty in Every Place http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-11587 Thu, 17 Nov 2011 11:00:23 +0000 http://dendtler.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-11587 [...] the more of the two-year -old characteristics than Hana Kate did, but I think she’s reached a point of equilibrium for [...]

]]> By: This Will Keep You Busy: Links By Age « The Parenting Passageway http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-7555 Tue, 07 Jun 2011 16:18:04 +0000 http://dendtler.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-7555 [...] The Typical Ages of Disequilibrium http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/ [...]

]]> By: The Twelve to Twenty-Two Month Old: A Traditional Perspective « The Parenting Passageway http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-2928 Tue, 23 Mar 2010 01:17:43 +0000 http://dendtler.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-2928 [...] Age of Disequilibrium – see back post here on disequilibrium: http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/  [...]

]]> By: QueenArtLady http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-2655 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 00:56:43 +0000 http://dendtler.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-2655 Carrie

I just had to smile reading this tonight. My almost 15 months old is behaving like an 18 month old. With my oldest I have also found the strecth from 15-21 months the most difficult (I put it down to pre-verbal frustration).
Likely the oldest have just turned 3 and boy have we observed a change. He is an absolute delight to be with, most of the time.
Hopefully baby will be through her age of disequilibrium before he turns 3 1/2. Haha ;-)

]]> By: It's Tough to be Two and a Half - Toddler Behaviour | picklebums.com http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-2654 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 00:28:47 +0000 http://dendtler.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-2654 [...] is normal, so I’m told. But it is so good to be reminded of that as I read Parenting Passageway’s post The Typical Ages of Disequilibrium… “2 1/2 years – a peak age of disequilibrium typically, typically rigid and inflexible, [...]

]]> By: Carrie http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-2650 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 14:04:56 +0000 http://dendtler.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/#comment-2650 Bonnie – will email you off-list.
Blessings,
Carrie

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