Here we are already at Day Number Five! I can’t believe it!
Our focus today is to TAKE TIME FOR OURSELVES. Make yourself the priority you deserve to be!
I see so many mothers who are feeling burned out at best and miserable at worst. They are wearing so many hats (see this post here: http://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/08/22/how-do-i-take-off-one-of-these-hats/ ) and feel isolated, alone, and many times unsupported by their spouse or significant other. I wrote a post with some suggestions about this some time ago: http://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/05/06/making-yourself-a-priority-in-the-parenting-equation/ It has many suggestions for overcoming burnout and dealing with depression. Please do read it if you have not read it before.
And now please pat yourselves on the back for being a mindful mother. Some mothers have a hard time hearing they are “good” mothers; but please be open to hearing it! If you are not open to hearing this, what are you feeling so badly about? What has shaken your confidence so? Could anyone else be more possibly invested in your children than you and your spouse or partner?
If you are reading this blog, I feel you are at least open to fostering or investigating possible positive changes in your mothering. Congratulate yourself for that! Congratulate yourself for searching for ways that may suit your family better for the long run from all the places you are seeking. Congratulate yourself for being mindful! Perfection is not a realistic goal, but being more mindful is. Learning how to forgive one-self, learning how to better hold the space in your own home as an Authentic Leader is possible!
The one thing I can suggest in addition to the suggestions made in the above posts is to find a mother who can mentor you. It doesn’t have to be an in-person relationship, although that can be wonderful. Maybe there is a mother from a Yahoo!Group or a forum you could contact off -list and see if she would be willing to provide her perspective on the things you are struggling with.
Perhaps there is someone in your local La Leche League group, your local Attachment Parenting Group or in your place of worship or other community place whose parenting you admire. Maybe you could ask them to meet with you, email with you or talk with you by phone. Some mothers use their mentoring relationship on a weekly or monthly basis.
And most of all, when your children are older and you are the wiser for the challenges you have faced and conquered, pass this wisdom on by becoming a mentor to a new mother. You have the ability to impact lives in ways you may never have dreamed possible!
I have several mothers who mentor me, and I am so very grateful for them. I wrote about a group of them here: http://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/07/02/the-brain-trust/ and urge you to find and connect with mothers who can also help you.
I recently had the great fortune of having a shower thrown for me for my third pregnancy and it was attended by the women whose parenting I admire the most in the world. They all have different and wonderful personalities and I enjoy hearing their perspectives on things. They always make me think! I urge you to form these kinds of relationships that will carry you through the challenging times of parenting.
Much love and many blessings,