I have gotten some private emails and such, apparently this post has hit a lot of raw nerves. First of all, I would like to give all of you struggling with these issues empathy. Some of you have grown children and you are worried that perhaps people judge your parenting skills by the state your adult children are now living in. Some of you worry for your child’s safety. Some of you have taken over care and responsibility for your grandchildren. I too, was raised by grandparents with involvement from my father and uncle. I probably understand more than you think about this.
Please give yourself a break and be easy with yourself. There are no guarantees for how children “turn out”. It is a fallacy in our society, especially that for mothers, that if we provide our child undivided material goods, unlimited opportunities, that if we are the “perfect” mother our children will turn out just fine. This is a fallacy, but it should also not be an excuse to bow out of parenting in the best way we know how.
I believe the skyrocketing rates of childhood ADHD, depression, alcohol and drug abuse are definitely related to not only parenting but also the position we assign children in our society. Many people have told me out right there is no way there would have more than one or two children with the often unspoken message that children are a liability in this society- a cause of worry, a cause of stress and doubting yourself as a human being and who would want that? Motherhood is the invisible job that no one seems to value anymore, yet it is the most important one to be able to provide peace and stability in your home to the best of your ability. The work of motherhood should be well supported and encouraged for the future of our children and our country.
Children are a joy and a blessing. I strongly feel the work and education of attachment parenting and Waldorf for the early years is at least the best hope we have at this time to stem the tide of all the problems we are seeing now in teenagers and young adults.
Thanks for all your comments and thoughts, keep ‘em coming.
Just a few thoughts from my little corner of the world.