This post is more for the parents of children ages 7 and older. In my own inner work at this time, I am working with the notion of “letting go” and some of the ideas that come to mind as I work with this phrase, in no particular order (and I am using the word “she” to refer to a child for simplicity’s sake) :
Letting go means I cannot police my child’s every thought on a subject; she has her own thoughts and ideas.
Letting go means I cannot control her destiny; my child has her own destiny.
Letting go means I cannot set so many rules and regulations that my parenting is completely dry, humor-less and alienating, my child has a need for space, a warm presence but also benign neglect.
Letting go means that I can stop trying to “fix” what I see as my child’s “imperfections”; my child is herself and needs no “fixing”.
Letting go also means I can stop using so many words and chattering at my child and over –explaining things; instead I can find support in the warm silence that I give her.
Letting go means I cannot hover over every detail of her life; she needs the space to make mistakes when the cost is small as practice for her own life ahead.
Letting go means doing the right thing at the right time and not trying to go back when she is a teenager and treat her like an infant.
Letting go means letting go of my own adult baggage, my own adult dreams and wants for my child; she has her own dreams and wants.
Letting go means I can be authentic and fully present with my child.
Letting go means I can support and guide, but not dictate or demand.
Letting go feels good.
What are you going to work on this year in your parenting?
Just a few thoughts from my little corner of the world.